i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm passing your future prison.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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