i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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