This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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