So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
