Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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