My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
