He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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