i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
