come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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