im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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