Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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