you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize