Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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