UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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