does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
