Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
