Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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