Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Its about making memories worth repressing
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
