I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
