Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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