you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
