and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
