Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize