I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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