Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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