I hope mine doesn't look like that
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
