It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
