dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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