NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
