Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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