you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
