Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
