I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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