so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
