I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
