i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize