Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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