I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize