It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
