Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
this is an emotional support booty call
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