Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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