can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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