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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
