Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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