i used baking grease as lip gloss
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize