my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
