a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
