She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize