i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
