i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
