Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
