You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
