He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
