you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
