It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
