Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize