I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
