She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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