Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
