why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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