we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
ttyl tear gas
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize