Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
