WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The best revenge is premature balding
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Your cock deserves a montage
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
