i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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