..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
